My family is pretty small and quite satellite, and we hardly have any extended family gatherings. In fact, the only times I see the far away aunts, uncles and cousins are at funerals. Moreover most of Papa’s siblings live in Malaysia, so we only get to meet twice a year or so: Chinese New Year, and maybe another random meet (holiday, church camp, Christmas, etc).
So today I met my long-unseen cousins Rachel & Chelsea who came down from KL, and together with Jia Han (who is my only other cousin who is in Singapore) and Boaz, we sat down to our annual card/board-gaming activities.
Then I realised that I was kind of sad that we hardly meet at all, even though we’ve known each other for years. And I realised I really love my cousins a whole lot (:
I am not making the most of what I have, where I am, who I can be. But I just can’t seem to pull myself out of this mediocrity right now. What I need, is a vision and motivation. I need to find something I really really really like and get down to pursuing it all the way. (God and relationships aside, that is) So far, in my whole history of living, I’ve not found anything close.
I am trying to make it a point to find productive things to do with myself; productive being the operative word here. At this rate, by the end of the 5 years, I may have written a novel, an academic paper on the situation in Africa (as Jon & I have discussed), another paper trying to speak up against political & social discontent in Singapore (because the Singaporean netizens are really trolls of the worst sort), and may have sewn myself 20 dresses. Who knows? Or I may have finished watching Criminal Minds till Season Kingdom Come, haha.