So, I managed to sign into Skype (that is still not available on my laptop) for the first time since November 2012. Not that it’s a big deal, but I did it anyway.
So I wrote a post about why people travel, about the ironic playlist I have to accompany me this round, and about running. Then I delete everything & all I have left is:
This country is an enclave of memories & impressions (the word as defined many posts earlier). And she knows now that if she wants to be safe, it is not here.
So all the weight I had shed late last year crept back over the most recent semester. Truth be told, I was rather woebegone at the start of May as I tried to shimmy into a skirt I’d bought in Munich while remembering how fluidly I had slid into it months earlier.
I was kind of dreading what the food would do to me on this trip, seeing how the cuisine here is carb-heavy and immensely oil-laden (“Red oil is very good for your body, makes you strong!”). Not to mention the easy access to sugars.
Interestingly, a week on, I feel less wobbly - the 4th notch on my black leather belt feels looser, my capris sag, and my t-shirts aren’t as fitting.
This is probably due to the erratic eating schedule we have been keeping to. Every morning it goes something like:
1: Are you hungry?
2: No. Are you hungry?
1: No. When will you be hungry?
2: I don’t know.
1: I’m gonna get some coke.
And sometimes we don’t eat until past lunch. Sometimes we eat a normal breakfast, and don’t eat till night. I guess that’s why my weight has gone down again, though I feel it rising (after 3 days of carb-absorption).
I happen to have the sort of body that puts on anything very easily - fat or muscle (yes, in JC, people asked me if I was a swimmer oh goodness). I would probably struggle alot more with weight if I had alot less control over my eating desires. I do appreciate a good meal and great food, and I do get cravings and binging urges. But somehow I’ve always had relatively good discipline when it comes to eating - it works both ways: ensuring I eat, and ensuring that I do not eat. I’ve never had a huge problem with fasting, and I am sorry to say that when people tell me “I’ll never be able to give up a meal!” I really can’t understand. It’s just… not eating for a while, it’s not a big deal. In fact, the hardest part about week-long full fasts for me was never the hunger - it was the lack of taste and texture in my mouth that I found most tortuous.
Anyway, the point is: Travelling is always fun as I watch how the cuisine of another country (& erratic eating habits that come along with holidays) affects my weight. I hope my current weight stays down long enough till I get home so I can wear my vintage mum Levis that I got at a steal years back but are fiendishly tight around the waist.
Birks Bali, amazingly sturdy MNG black skinnies (that have been worn so much they are becoming increasingly unskinny), COS black leather belt, Cotton On Men’s dark heather grey tee, Topshop Unique starry scarf (the snoody kind, free from an event), black leather Swatch (bought for Pa and now it comes back to me), assorted silver accessories, black Baggu.
Sans the scarf, I look like a maht. With it, I actually look like a girl. Was also gonna use it to cover my hair where necessary, but Cairo so far seems more liberal than expected.
After an eternity I am finally online as I finally have access to my computer. Some strange occurrences occurred that at first seemed like serendipity but now I am not so sure. Anyhow, I am happy to be back on cyberspace. I am even happier to be on this 3 month freedom stretch; I woke up on Mayday smiling to myself and grinned all the way through cleaning up and changing.
In approximately 8.5 hours I will be gone. I don’t feel particularly excited or happy about it right now, but I don’t feel any apprehension or dread either - which is favourable. Instead, I just wonder what I am going to do with myself and how quickly time will pass until I have to leave again. And if anything will be different when I get back.
Why do I always (and only) get inspired at the most inconvenient times?
Right now, I am dying to write / draw / design / photograph / cook / sew … JUST GOTTA CREATE SOMETHING. But right now, I have to get my ammo in order for the open book tomorrow.
Macs really makes every day better.
There’s something so alluring about this city. I don’t know if it’s the fact it’s the first Asian world city, or that it’s China but not really, or whom I know is working/living there, or the (flawed) perception I have of its vibrancy, or that it’s a clean slate to me. But to me, it’s just the Place To Be. And it’s Cantonese-speaking. Now why couldn’t it have been Hokkien instead and I have enough trouble with Mandarin as it is come on.
- Becca: Does it ever go away?
- Nat: No, I don't think it does. Not for me, it hasn't, and that's goin' on eleven years. It changes, though.
- Becca: How?
- Nat: I don't know... the weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and... carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you... you even forget it, for a while. But then you reach in for whatever reason and - there it is. Oh right, that. Which could be awful - But not all the time. It's kinda... not that you like it exactly, but it's what you have instead of him, so you don't wanna let go of it either. So you carry it around. And it doesn't go away, which is...
- Becca: What.
- Nat: Fine... actually.
- Me: Dinnertmr?
- W: I wish you were a bird.
- Me: Why?
- W: No reason.
- Me: I like being human. Sometimes I wish I were a bird too
- W: My wishes don't always come true.
- Me: Such is life, unfortunately
- W: Yes, I will have dinner with you Abigail.
According to a study by Zajonc in 1968, the more consumers are exposed to a certain stimulus, they process this stimulus with greater ease (i.e. “fluency”), and with this greater ease of processing, the stimulus becomes increasingly appealing. This is because the human brain tends to take what is “fluent” as beautiful.
This would explain why, thanks to the disarming flu I’ve had for the past few days that has left me with no choice but to lie in bed and watch YouTube, I have been increasingly hoping to marry Ryan Higa. With each video, he gets handsomer and funnier. This would also explain the popularity of many YouTube celebrities and their steadily increasing followerships. This is how sad my life has become. TEEHEE.
How frightening it is when you are forced into a stasis as your body runs a fever / sore throat / headache and as you lie there unwillingly inert on the bed your mind seizes the moment and your thoughts / memories / emotions finally catch up with you.